Blog
my running journey
Nov 21
ask for more skills
Nov 21
Over the weekend while taking a 90 minute Bikram (hot) yoga class, my inner critic decided to show up. Hot yoga is pretty hot. In this case, not only did class feel overwhelming hotter than usual, making me unusually uncomfortable, I also felt irritated by the teacher. I was having a strong negative reaction to the yoga teacher who, in my opinion, kept talking and talking and talking when all I wanted was some quiet. This incessant talking coupled with my physical discomfort felt excruciating. During most of the 90 minute class, I kept wishing it were easier: the room would get cooler (yeah right!) and the teacher would pipe down and be how I wanted her to be!
As the voice of my inner critic got louder, I was getting increasingly frustrated and it was distracting me from my practice…which of course made me even more agitated. After going through most of the class in this state of inner battle, all of the sudden the voice stopped. I recalled the wise words of Jim Rohn who says, “Don’t ask for it to be easier, ask for more skills”.
In this moment I was reminded of what I thought I “learned for good” the last time:
1. I am a yoga teacher…and news flash…not everyone likes everything I do. Do I want someone in my class to have a “bad” class because of it? No! And why was I being so hard on this teacher? Where was my compassion for this person who was there to support me? Lesson: As the student, I am responsible for my own experience.
2. I am distracted and not enjoying my yoga practice. Isn’t yoga all about breathe, relax…enjoy??? Lesson: My inner critic is not serving me right now.
3. If I continue to feed my inner critic, my experience will reflect that. What an incredible lesson for my life off the mat! Lesson: Where my attention goes, my prana, or life force energy follows.
4. By allowing my inner critic to take hold, I was creating a sense of “me” the student versus “her”, the teacher. Lesson: One of the many benefits of yoga is to expand and unite not contract and divide.
5. I have a choice here. This recognition was the most powerful. I shifted from being a judging yoga student to someone remembering it is ME who needs more skills right now. Lesson: I made the choice to feel connected and open rather than divisive and contracted.
I share this as an invitation for you to consider how the voice of the inner critic may apply to your life.
Ask yourself the following:
1. What is my inner critic saying in this moment?
2. Is this how I want to be?
3. What other choice can I make in this moment that comes from a place of loving kindness and compassion toward myself or someone else?
4. What skills do I need to cultivate to handle this?
As you go through this process remember to just notice how you are being. This is not about judging yourself. It is simply about inviting awareness to enter and allowing space for transformation to occur. For me, when transformation occurs, my life becomes sweeter. I feel better on all levels: body, mind, spirit. As I feel better, loving kindness overflows to all people.
This experience of expansiveness and unity is precisely why I practice and teach yoga.
So yes, Jim Rohn was right!! I did not need for my 90 minute Bikram yoga class to be easier, I needed more skills in those moments.
listen to the words
Nov 14
What is it about the power of words as it relates to where we are in our life?
I like to study words for two reasons.
First, I notice that words are powerful tools which can bring people together or push us apart. The words we choose are a window into our soul. When strung together, words represent significant meaning.
Second, I believe when we commit to increasing our own self awareness through yoga and meditation, we begin to experience the words of others differently. Perhaps instead of “hearing” what someone says, we will be able to “listen”. When we “hear” someone, it is more of an external experience and there is less, if any emotional connection. When we listen, we connect. Connection is where life happens. The best part is — as we practice “listening” to ourselves, we begin to speak differently. We choose our words more carefully. As we do, the outcomes in our life change. Perhaps some of you already do this in your life. No matter what you currently do, there is always room to “listen” more deeply.
To exemplify the power of words, read the 5 statements below to yourself. Pay attention to see if you can tell the difference between “hearing” the words and “listening” to them. Notice when you truly “listen” to the words, how they make you feel.
1. When adding consistent physical activity to your life, doesn’t it make sense to engage in movement that moves you?
2. Do you work to live–or–live to work?
3. We don’t meditate to get better at meditating. We meditate to get better at life.
4. I am less interested in what you are overeating and more interested in why you are overeating.
5. “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou ‘canst not then be false to any man.” -William Shakespeare
How did you listen? Were you able to feel the words? What came up for you? There is much we can learn about ourselves when we really listen!
One of the things I speak about often is the importance of getting support when trying to achieve your goals.
I realize some of you may not know what support looks like because you don’t usually ask for it or maybe you have not ever truly gotten it. For me, I spent many years completely unaware of what real support looked like. I walked around feeling “proud” of the fact that I was strong, independent and didn’t “need anybody”. When this attitude no longer served me, I found myself feeling dissatisfied with and disconnected from my personal and professional life. I decided I needed more knowledge– and I am not talking about book education my friends. I am talking about self knowledge, self education. As I began to focus less on the outer world and what everyone else was doing, I became fascinated by my inner world. I committed myself to the practice of yoga and meditation to increase my self awareness. As I began to learn more about myself, there were times I was completely overwhelmed with what I learned. This overwhelm led me to become stuck. I was afraid to make changes, to speak up, to begin advocating for the life I imagined. It is scary, no doubt!! It was in these moments that I also realized knowledge is potential power. After all, if we know what we must do, yet we continue not to do it, what power do we have? In fact for me, my knowledge without being able to action made me feel powerless. Since then I have come to believe it is in the action of doing that we gain power. It became clear to me that if I wanted to get “unstuck” I must have someone to support me as “the stuff” came up. I made the decision to start working consistently with a mentor and coach. By getting the support I needed, with someone who I felt safe with, I was able to transform my life completely. As “the stuff” came up, I now had someone who could both support me and be a mirror for me. What a powerful combination!
As you contemplate what you want for your life, I encourage you to give thought to this concept of knowledge being potential power. Some of you may be lucky to have the knowledge and the power already. For others you may have neither or bits of both. Whatever it is for you, don’t judge it. Notice it and from that place decide what you are willing to do. Get more knowledge? Get support? Both?
Six weeks ago I decided to train for a 10K race in Sleepy Hollow. I am proud to say I completed the race– and it was my best time ever! It was a challenging course. Many, many, many hills.
When I think about how I was able to achieve my goal of running a very hilly 10K, with only 6 weeks of training, I realized a few key principles I had to implement along the way. As a mentor and supportive coach, I want to share these with you. I have noticed when it comes to changing past behavior, many of us start out excited — and then for some reason we fall off the “track”, give up on ourselves and never achieve our goals.
Why is this?
In taking some lessons from what I had to endure over the last 6 weeks, there are 3 things you must do when trying to achieve your goals:
1. You must have a plan and follow it consistently, no matter what.
I followed the training plan exactly. I did it when I was tired, cranky and sore. Included in my plan was not only the physical movement part, but also healthier eating, increased supplementation and more rest.
2. You must believe you are not your thoughts.
When you begin to notice your thoughts, this is when you can begin to control them. When negative thoughts popped into my head, I simply changed my thinking to positive affirmations. When you come back to your body and get out of your head, anything is possible.
3. You must get support.
Some of us underestimate the need for support as we feel we “shouldn’t” have to ask for it. I have not yet met anyone who has achieved a significant goal in life without getting support. All during my training I asked my family and other runners for support. For me, asking is not easy– yet I do it anyway in pursuit of my larger goal.
How can you apply these 3 principles to your life..starting now?
Many times people ask me: what is the connection between yoga & meditation and weight loss?
For me, it comes down to one word: awareness.
Here’s why: the simple recognition of how you feel after eating something (or after interacting with someone who “makes you want to eat”), allows you to make healthier decisions that align with your core values.
Over time, with consistent practice, yoga and meditation cultivate awareness!!
When you make the decision to be healthy by achieving a healthy weight, and you combine this desire with your awareness of why/how you got to be “overweight”, you are moving forward. Without awareness, nothing will change.
Keep in mind, as your awareness increases, it is not always easy to deal with the truth that emerges. And this is why sticking with yoga and meditation, and also getting additional support as needed, will help keep you on track.
Never underestimate your need for support.
Namaste
Balancing Ambition and Play
Oct 10
One challenge I face when living my personal best is balancing my ambition with my play.
Have you ever experienced this? Over the years I have learned and continue to “re-learn” that when my ambitious side takes over completely, I end up feeling tired..and even somewhat resentful of my ambitious efforts. In order to get back in balance, I give myself permission to play more. When I do, I come back feeling renewed and ready to take on the next challenge. I want to re-iterate that excellence is not perfection. If it were, we would have nothing to strive for.
A favorite book of mine on this topic of play called the Exuberant Animal talks about how many of us have forgotten how to play– and as a result, we suffer from all kinds of body, mind and spirit ailments. I tend to agree with this. Here’s a quote from the book I absolutely love:
I encourage you to play more on your path to excellence. I rarely meet anyone on this path who tells me they play too much!!
Excellence and Ambition
Oct 3
What is the connection? Step #1 on the road to excellence is ambition.
When I coach people on how to lose weight, reduce stress, eat healthier, I realize those who succeed have something in common: they are ambitious. Our ambition allows us to set goals that exceed our expectations. Along the way, as the challenges do arise, we do not settle for less. Doesn’t that sound simple? Well, it is. When you start with the decision to achieve excellence, get support you need to help you lay out your plan and stick with it.
For me, my desire to achieve physical excellence means as I age I want to become more physically fit, not less. This desire prompted me to sign up for a 10K race. I am not a “runner” so the 10K is a wonderful goal that will enable me to work beyond my usual physical routine. As of today I have completed the 14th day of my 40 day training schedule. I can tell you with sincerity the process of exercising 6 days each week has been very challenging for me. However, since my ambition to pursue physical excellence is strong, I am sticking with it. On some days when I am running, I can’t tell if I am sweating, crying or both! I push forward regardless. By pushing through the struggle I come away with a sense of accomplishment that inspires me to keep setting new and more challenging goals.
I challenge you to notice where in your life you show up “excellent”. Meaning, you are ambitious, you set goals beyond your reach, and you keep pushing until you reach them. Keep in mind there is no right or wrong. Just start to notice where you show up excellent. And if you aren’t sure, then perhaps choose one area you would like to begin showing up excellent. The journey starts with the first step!!
your future part 3
Sep 19
The third and final thing which impacts the quality of our future and that is our willingness to overcome adversity. It is true that no matter how badly you want something in life, you will face challenges. I like to think of these challenges as an opportunity to examine whether I really really want whatever it is that I am after. And if I really really do want it, then I focus on getting the necessary support to overcome the adversity. When I say support it can be anything from having a call with my mentor, exercising, taking time off, reading, writing or going back to the vision I have for my life which totally inspires me!
When I need support, one person I turn to is Jim Rohn because he is doing and has done what I envision myself to be doing 15 years from now. On one of his CD’s he says when times get tough, don’t ask for it to be easier, ask for more skills. Brilliant! If we truly desire a better future for ourselves and our family, we must be willing to overcome obstacles and challenges.
I have faced and continue to face obstacles as I build my wellness business. Death, divorce, moving — all kinds of emotional turmoil and yes, even un-supportive friends and family. Do you know how many days I quit “in my head” and say to myself, “I will just go back to work for someone else”. What keeps me moving forward is that I am willing to overcome adversity by constantly improving myself, my skills. I am willing to learn, to change, and be coach-able. I invest in myself because I firmly believe the more we work on ourselves, the more success we will achieve in life. And I don’t just mean monetary success. I am talking about success in love and relationships– in living a good life, with no regrets.
How can you apply this to your life? What challenges are you currently facing? Are you willing to overcome this adversity to improve the quality of your future or that of your family? What choices are you making? What is the quality of your thinking? It is all connected. As always, I am here to support you so don’t be afraid to reach out! We are not meant to “go it alone”.
your future part 2
Sep 12
The second thing which impacts the quality of our future is our thinking, our mindset. There are 2 mindsets we fall into. Some of us believe “I am who I am”. This is a “learned” or “fixed” way of thinking. With this way of thinking, not much change or growth can occur. Others of us believe “I can become..”. This way of thinking leads to growth, change…transformation.
So I ask you: what are your beliefs about your future? What is your mindset? Are you in a fixed mindset or a growth mindset? The great news is you can choose to move from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. I did!
Here’s how:
I have never been a “runner”. The first time I went running I lasted less than 5 minutes and my shins were on fire. I was in such agony I believed that running was “not for me”. I made all the excuses: too old to start, not thin enough, etc etc. I made the choice not to continue running. Fast forward a few years later and the opportunity to run a 5K with my sister (and super athlete), Christine, came up. I wanted to do it, yet was terrified. Remember, I believed “I am not a runner”. My sister promised she would help me. I agreed and our first practice run was Miserable (yes, capital “M”). Christine is a great coach and very supportive. She pushed me and we completed the 5K. Something shifted in me after that experience. I began to believe that I can become a runner if I choose to.
Based on my new belief that I can become a runner, I have worked hard at it over the years. The other day I ran for 63 minutes!! I had no shin issues, no breathing issues. During the last 5 minutes of my run I saw a group of very fit people running a 10K. Do you know what I said to myself? I said, “I can do that”, “I will run a 10K”. I have decided that this will be my year for running 10K’s. What is truly remarkable about mindset is that prior to the 5K I completed with my sister, I would have looked at those runners and said, “I am not a runner”, “I can’t do that”. Simply by changing my mindset from a “fixed” one to a “growth” one, I altered my future.
Being able to run feeds me. It motivates me to keep on pushing for what I want even when my mind tries to trick me.
My friends, the quality of your future is connected to the quality of your thinking.
I repeat: What is your mindset? Are you in a fixed mindset or a growth mindset? What are your beliefs?
Challenge yourself to overcome your negative mind feed and move into a growth mindset.
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